Hate In Your Heart Will Consume You. How Can You Let Go?

In this article:

Will Smith quote on enLiven Wellness Life Coaching chalkboard reading, "Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do 'cause hate in your heart will consume you too." Life Coach Toledo Todd Smith Blissfield
“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do ’cause hate in your heart will consume you too.” – Will Smith.

“You can’t let him get away with that!” were the words spewed in “encouragement” after a particularly bitter and heated exchange.

For most of us, our first thought after a conflict is about how we can respond so that we can prove ourselves and appear tough. Often that response is retaliatory and prompted by the ego. The question to answer is whether there is really any catharsis when we “get somebody back”. Is that the best use of our energy for ourselves, the other, or the world?

I’ve found solace in the understanding that another’s reaction to a situation is a greater reflection of their own challenges than a reflection of me.

Understanding another’s reaction comes with responsibility as well. I could use that understanding to needle and further trigger, or I could use it to better understand the person and take care to support them as a steward of goodwill. Of course, if my action prompted a reaction, it is important for me to reflect on the intention behind my action and the words I used that could appear loaded triggering the reaction. Though I won’t suggest perfection, it is almost always my goal to de-escalate a conflict and not fuel the fire. Emotional fuel burns the brightest, so recognizing and acknowledging the feelings that well up in me (not burying them or feeding them) effectively creates an environment for productive conflict resolution. Isn’t that what we really want anyway? What purpose does conflict serve if discovering common ground isn’t the outcome we pursue?

To allow a conflict to carry on is a burden that you can choose not to carry. Letting go of hate and working toward forgiveness is a huge burden lifted. Whether you believe in a greater power in the Universe or not, one does not ever really “get away” with anything. They will always carry the yoke on their shoulders until they come to their own terms. I believe we will all be tested from time to time with opportunities to come to terms with our burdens.  Then we make the choice to forgive ourselves and others or hold on to the hurts and let them fester.

Is there anything you could let go of that would lift a huge weight from your shoulders?

Recent Posts

All

7 Signs It’s Time to Consider Life Coaching for Self-Improvement

February 1, 2023

Ready to Unlock Your Full Potential and Create a Life You Love?...

Read More
Photograph of a book on a table with the words, "dream it, believe it, achieve it." Achieve Goals

Achieving Goals: From Resolutions to Reality

January 2, 2023

How to Make Lasting Change Any Time of Year If you know...

Read More

From Toxic Positivity to Authentic Happiness: Alex’s Journey of Self-Discovery

December 22, 2022

Alex is the kind of guy who always looks on the bright...

Read More

The Power of Gratitude: How to Cultivate an Attitude of Thankfulness during the Holiday Season

December 8, 2022

The Power of Gratitude: How to Cultivate an Attitude of Thankfulness during...

Read More

18 Best Motivational Interviewing Worksheets & Activities

December 4, 2022

Helping people change unhealthy or damaging behavior is one of the most...

Read More

Intrinsic Motivation Explained: 10 Examples & Key Factors

December 4, 2022

Intrinsic motivation is a much sought-after quality. “Perhaps no single phenomenon reflects...

Read More

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Share this post with your friends